Create a positive attitude for your life

Another research I have made for you based on the idea of comparing optimists with pessimists. Being self interested in improving myself, I always find articles and books that inspires me. I believe that all this information are quite useful likened to apply them into my life.

How To Be Optimistic

Is good to understand first the differences between being skeptical and being pessimistic. Being skeptical can be a healthy way to avoid getting taken advantage of; but being pessimistic is always assuming the worst and this attitude can have major negative consequences on your life.

This negative aspects of any situation can cause you to miss opportunities, neglect problems that need to be solved, and fail to take action that would otherwise improve your relationships and quality of life.

Optimists, so much more at peace with the world, train themselves to look for the light at the end the tunnel. If you've always had a pessimistic world view, it can be difficult to shift your focus, but it is possible to start seeing the glass as half full.

Here I found some Steps that may help you learn how and what can be improved and in which way:

1. Let go of the Assumptions

Assuming the world is against you, or that you were born with a gray cloud over your head. It is an assumption that has no basis in reason or science.

Believing that the universe or a spiritual entity has singled you out and shifted the world order just to make your life miserable is both self-centered and illogical.

Be humble and stop pretending you've got the world all figured out. Everytime you can realize that bad experiences lead to good experiences. If you can't predict the future, so you can't assume it'll always be bad.

2. Look for the source of your pessimism.

Deep-rooted negativity can often be traced to childhood experiences, when growing minds observe their circumstances and make presumptions about how the world functions. If all you saw growing up were disappointments, betrayals and failure, it's no surprise that now it's what you expect from the world as an adult.

Sometimes we pick up a flair for pessimism from a parent who made negative assumptions about the world somewhere along the line. Either way, the sooner you can attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier it'll be to change your perspective.

3. Understand that the past does not equal the future.

Just because you've experienced pain or disappointment in the past does not guarantee that it's all you'll experience in the future. There were many things in your past that you couldn't control, and everybody comes across unfortunate circumstances at some point in their lives - you're no exception.

But there are also many things in life we can control to one degree or another, and therein lies the possibility of change. A day or week that starts badly will not necessarily end badly. Do not make a bad start turn into a self fulfilling prophecy for a bad ending.

4. See yourself as a cause, not an effect.

You don't have to be a product or a victim of your circumstances. Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen.

If you're not happy with the way your life is now, set goals and move on. Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions, instead of letting pessimism turn you into someone who avoids risk at all costs.

Sometimes it is necessary to take risks to receive rewards. Moreover, taking no action is taking an action. It is better to play to win rather than merely to avoid losing.

5. Accept pain, failure and disappointment as a part of life, not the entirety of it. Life involves taking many risks every day, and not all of them will end positively. That's what defines risk.

But the flip side is that some actions will lead to good results, and it's generally better to have a mixed bag than to have nothing at all. Ideally, the good stuff will outweigh the bad, but you'll never reach that point unless you put yourself out there and hope for the best.

When in doubt, remember Lord Alfred Tennyson's words of wisdom:

I hold it true, whatever befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.

6. Be thankful.

Everyone has something to be grateful for. Make a list of the good things that have happened to you. If nothing instantly springs to mind, you aren't trying hard enough.

The key to being an optimist is recognizing the benefits and possibilities of any situation, and understanding that it could always be worse. If all else fails, think of how life could be worse, and flip the thought process to recognize what you do have.

For example: "I'm flunking out of school" can turn into "Well, at least I have a chance to go to school, and I still have time to turn my grades around."

Get a notebook and a pen, and write down all the good things that you have. Every time you are feeling negative, read through them and remind yourself that it's not all bad.

7. Use positive affirmations.

Write down short statements that remind you of what you're trying to change about the way you see the world. Put them in places where you'll see them every day, such as on your bathroom mirror, the inside of your locker, on your computer monitor, and even taped to your shower wall.

Some affirmations to start with are:

* "Anything is possible."
* "I create my circumstances, my circumstances don't create me."
* "The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life."
* "I always have a choice."
* "Look at the little things in life that are good and it will make your life a WHOLE lot better"

8. Remember that life is short.

When you feel pessimism clouding your judgment or you start to feel down about the future, remind yourself that every minute counts, and any time spent brooding guarantees nothing but less time to enjoy whatever life might have to offer.

At its core, pessimism is impractical because it causes you to spend time dwelling on things that haven't happened yet and aren't guaranteed to happen, and it prevents you from getting things done.

Pessimism breeds indecision. It's a waste of time, and time is a limited resource that you can't afford to take for granted.

9. Be a balanced optimist.

Nobody's suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you.
Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist.


* Look happy.

Studies have shown that putting a positive expression on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the future.

* Practice by conveying these ideas to others.

If you hear someone being pessimistic, counsel them based on these steps. Sometimes it's easier to understand a perspective if you explain it to someone else first.

* Always make the effort to try and find something good in every bad situation.

It may be relatively minor in the scope of things, but there is always something positive to be found. It may seem silly at first, but as it becomes a habit, you will see that your attitude begins to change.

* Make a list of the things you want, imagine yourself already having them, and use the subconscious mind to put your optimism to work.


* Avoid negative people. If you can't avoid them, learn how to not let them get you down.
* Don't let your negative feelings control you.
* Don't confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can make everything look worse than it is.
* You can only change you. You can't change other people.
* While it is true that you create your own circumstances, accept that the past is the past. Don't let negative circumstances trigger irrational guilt.
* The past is the past. It's over. It's done. Let it go.
* Realize that it's not about what happens to you, it's about how you react to what happens.

Have a happy life :)

Long-Term Career Planning

How to develop a Strategic Vision for my Career Plan?

This article provides you with some basic guidelines for long-term career planning.

Long-term career planning usually involves a planning window of five years or longer and involves a broader set of guidelines and preparation.

Businesses, careers, and the workplace are rapidly changing, and the skills that you have or plan for today may not be in demand years from now.

Long-range career planning should be more about identifying and developing core skills that employers will always value while developing your personal and career goals in broad strokes.

• Core Workplace Skills:

- communications (verbal and written),
- critical and creative thinking,
- teamwork and team-building,
- listening,
- social,
- problem-solving,
- decision-making,
- interpersonal,
- project management,
- planning and organizing,
- computer/technology,
- commitment to continuous/lifelong learning.

• Identifying Career/Employment Trends:

The best way to prepare yourself for future career changes and developments is to stay active in short-term career planning. By regularly scanning the environment and conducting research on careers, you’ll quickly become an expert on the career paths that interest you - and you’ll be better prepared for your next move.

Good luck

Short-Term Career Planning

How to develop a Strategic Vision for my Career Plan?

This article provides you with some basic guidelines for short-term career planning.

A short-term career plan focuses on a time frame ranging from the coming year to the next few years, depending on the job-seeker. The key characteristic of short-term career planning is developing realistic goals and objectives that you can accomplish in the near future.

As you begin your career planning, take the time to free yourself from all career barriers.

You may ask yourself what are those career barriers?

Types of career barriers:

• personal barriers (such as lack of motivation, apathy, laziness, or procrastination);
• family pressure (such as expectations to work in the family business, follow a certain career path, or avoidance of careers that are below your status/stature);
• peer pressure.

And while career planning and career decision-making is an important aspect of your life, try not to put so much pressure on yourself! This may paralyzes you from making any real choices, decisions, or plans. Career planning is an ever-changing and evolving process therefore you may allow yourself to take it slowly and easily.

For your career planning, you may consider using the following exercises to their fullest potential.

Career Planning Exercises:

1. Start making an analyze of your current/future lifestyle.

• are you happy with your current lifestyle?
• do you want to maintain it or change it?
• does your current career path allow you the lifestyle you seek?
Be sure to identify the key characteristics of your ideal lifestyle.

2. Continue with analyzing your likes/dislikes.

• what kinds of activities -- both at work and at play -- do you enjoy?
• what kind of activities do you avoid?
Make a list of both types of activities.
Now take a close look at your current job and career path in terms of your list of likes and dislikes.
• does your current job have more likes or dislikes?

3. Analyze your passions.

Reflect on the times and situations in which you feel most passionate, most energetic, most engaged - and see if you can develop a common profile of these situations. Develop a list of your passions.
• how many of these times occur while you are at work?

4. Analyze your strengths and weaknesses.

Step back and look at yourself from an employer’s perspective.
• what are your strengths?
• what are your weaknesses?
Think in terms of work experience, education/training, skill development, talents and abilities, technical knowledge, and personal characteristics.

5. Analyze your definition of success.

Spend some time thinking about how you define success.
What is success to you: wealth, power, control, contentment...

6. Analyze your personality.

• are you an extrovert or an introvert?
• do you like thinking or doing?
• do you like routines or change?
• do you like sitting behind the desk or being on the move?
Take the time to analyze yourself first, then take one or more of these self-assessment tests.

7. Analyze your dream job.

Remember those papers you had to write as a kid about what you wanted to be when you grew up? Take the time to revert back to those idyllic times and brainstorm about your current dream job; be sure not to let any negative thoughts cloud your thinking. Look for ideas internally, but also make the effort to explore/research other careers/occupations that interest you.

8. Analyze your current situation.

Before you can even do any planning, clearly and realistically identify your starting point.

Good! Have you completed these exercises?

The next step:
• develop a picture of yourself and your career over the next few years.

Do you have the mental picture?

The final step:
• develop a plan for achieving your goal

Career Planning Steps:

1. Identify your next career move.

If you have been examining multiple career paths, now is the time to narrow down the choices and focus on one or two careers.

2. Research

Conduct detailed career research and gather information on the careers that most interest you. Use the many resources we list in our Career Research Checklist.

3. Qualifications and skills

Pinpoint the qualifications you need to move to the next step in your career or to make the move to a new career path. If you’re not sure, search job postings and job ads, conduct informational interviews, research job descriptions.

4. Compare your current profile with the qualifications developed in step 3.

How far apart are the two profiles?

• if fairly well-matched, it may be time to switch to a job-search.
• if fairly far apart, can you realistically achieve the qualifications in the short-term? • if yes, move to the next step;
• if no, consider returning to the first step.

5. Plan development

• develop a plan to get qualified. Make a list of the types of qualifications you need to enhance your standing for your next career move, such as receiving additional training, certification, or experience.
• develop a time line and action plans for achieving each type, being sure to set specific goals and priorities.

Next: Long-term career planning

Good luck :)

Improve Communication Skills

Most of us have situations where we find it difficult to communicate. Improving your communication technique, and being comfortable speaking to people is extremely important. There are some top tips for being a better communicator.

Step 1: Use open-ended questions

• ask open questions that often start with ‘how', ‘when', ‘why' etc. An open question is something like: "What sort of things do you do in your spare time?" This type of question gets the conversation flowing.
• avoid asking closed questions. These are questions that can be answered with yes or no answer, such as: "Do you like films?" Closed questions tend to kill the conversation.

Step 2: Active Listening

People speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (WPM), but they can listen intelligently at up to 300 words per minute. Since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to go into mind drift - thinking about other things while listening to someone.

• active listening involves listening with a purpose. It may be to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc.
• give feedback to show yourself and the other person that you've understood what they've said. Do this by summarizing and repeating what you heard.

Step 3: Create a 'cocoon'

If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try to imagine a “cocoon” around you and the person you're listening to. Imagine that the cocoon is blocking out all outside distractions, so you can really focus on what they're saying. Try repeating their words mentally as they say it - this will reinforce their message and help you control mind drift.

Step 4: Engage with the other person

• when someone is trying to get your attention, or engage you in conversation don't turn your back on them, or answer over your shoulder. Instead, turn and face them, engage with them.
• good communication is when you really engage.
• when you are talking to people observe your body language and your tone of voice.
• remember to use open strong gestures, look people in the eye and smile when you talk unless you are complaining about something.

Step 5: Assumptions

Don't assume you know the other person's thoughts and feelings. Learn to identify when you do this. It normally occurs when the facts aren't present to support your belief, so always check with the other person what they mean when they say something.

Step 6: Antagonistic sentences

If you need to talk to someone about a difficult topic then avoid using sentences like:
• “You should know me better”,
• “Why are you trying to upset me?”,
• “You've never understood me”,
• “I thought we were going to enjoy ourselves”.

These are antagonistic sentences, and are not productive in any way and will just ensure there is a conflict.

Tips For Building Self Esteem

Here's some advice that will help you give your self esteem and confidence a big boost.

Step 1: Put it in writing

• write a list of your top 7 qualities.
* these are making you unique
* carry these around with you every day
* read them to remind yourself who you are and what makes you special.
• write a list of your past successes.
* remind yourself of how you did this and how great it felt when you'd achieved your goals.
* use this past experience to fuel your self esteem for achieving your goals in the future.

Step 2: Don't put yourself down

• keep a tally of how many times you speak negatively about yourself.
* this ensures that you become acutely aware of how many times a day you're telling people that you're not any good and telling yourself this too.
* this will be a real eye opener for you, which will successfully lead you to decrease the frequency of this external negative dialogs.
• don't apologies before or after you talk to someone about something as this takes away any strength or emphasis from you.
• don't apologies for yourself, be strong and assertive. This will do wonders for your self esteem.

Step 3: Accept compliments

• being able to accept, believe and feel good about accepting compliments is crucial to cultivating a high self-confidence.
• when and if someone pays you a compliment, don't act embarrassed, or look down at the floor, or say something self-deprecating. Instead, look the person in face, smile, and give them a big thank you.

Step 4: Get out of your comfort zone

Do not avoid particular people or situations that you don't feel confident in, e.g. for example if there are certain people you find difficult to approach then don't avoid them. Instead, walk up to them confidently and smile at them before you start talking. By pushing yourself into as many of these situations as possible you will increase your self esteem as you're taking control and not allowing yourself to be scared of these circumstances.

Step 5: Positive affirmations

Using positive affirmations every day is really effective as you're talking to your sub conscious where all your negative thoughts are stored. Pick 3 strong statements, which literally make a negative self-belief into a positive one.

For example, if you believe you're not a confident person then “I am a confident person” should be one of your positive affirmations that you say every day. Say your positive affirmations out loud while looking in the mirror as this makes them stronger because you're connecting with yourself.

By overcoming your 3 strongest negative self beliefs you will in turn increase your self esteem levels.

Step 6: Take care of yourself

• take time out to nurture yourself
• eat well and drink less alcohol
• go to sleep early and exercise

This indicates to yourself that you're worthy of being cared for. Remember you deserve to take care of yourself and be taken care of!

How Can I Make A Good First Impression?

After few researches, I found this tips that can help anyone in making a first good impression in any situation:

Step 1: Make an entrance

• take a few moments before you walk in to a room and realign your posture.
• bring your shoulders back and down and put a smile on your face.
• scan the room and look around as this will make you look a lot more positive and thus creates a good first impression.

Step 2: Your handshake

• make sure you give a good, cool and firm handshake.
• look the person in the eye and remember to smile at them.

Step 3: Posture

• practice sitting down in front of a mirror, in the outfit you will be wearing, to see what is going to work and what isn't.
• sit well in the chair as this will make you look more confident.
• rest your elbows on the arm of the chair and maybe cross your legs.

Step 4: Hand gestures

• make sure you don't use barriers such as folding your arms as this will make you look too closed.
• use nice open gestures and good emphatic gestures when you speak.
• make sure you keep your hands below shoulder height.

Step 5: Mirroring

• use mirroring to create fast-track rapport. This is achieved by slightly copying the interviewer's body language which will help you come across as more approachable.

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How to Build Confidence via Anchoring

Building Confidence via Anchoring

Anchoring is a way of drawing on past experiences in which you felt confident to help you cope better in the present. It's another powerful weapon in your confidence armory.

An anchor is any stimulus that consistently triggers an emotion. To use an anchor you have to:

* Generate in yourself the particular set of feelings you wish to recreate.
* Programme your subconscious to associate those feelings with specific words and gestures.
* Use those words and gestures to trigger the desired feelings when required.

Sportsmen and women use anchors continually. For example, tennis players bounce the ball repeatedly before serving to calm themselves; most runners go through an elaborate routine to centre themselves, much of which is not strictly necessary to the actual performance; and the mighty All Black rugby team go through a series of rituals before each match to intimidate the opposition and fire themselves up.

You constantly anchor feelings in the nervous system whether you like it or not, so why not learn to use this to your advantage? Using anchors you can feel calm and confident, or energized and confident whenever you wish.

* Choose an event you shortly have to face, when you need to remain calm, but you fear could bring on nervousness. Start working on your anchor a few weeks before the event. Get into the relaxed state and recall a time when you felt really calm and confident. Relive it in as much detail as possible. If you can't think of a suitable time just pretend to be confident. If you have a good imagination, your subconscious won't know the difference. When the feeling is strong, put your thumb and fingers together and gently whisper, 'Cool, calm and confident'. The stronger the feeling, the more successful will be your anchor. Affirm that every time you make this gesture and repeat these words, these same calm, confident feelings will return. This is called 'installing the anchor'.

* Just before the actual event you were rehearsing, and if necessary during it, take a deep breath, put your thumb and fingers together and repeat your chosen phrase silently or aloud. Say it with conviction. Allow the confident feelings to flow through you. This is called 'firing' the anchor.

* Alternatively, install an anchor when you experience good feelings as you go about your activities. This is effectively what athletes do when they raise their hands above their heads as they break the winning tape. If they were to do this repeatedly they would find that simply raising their hands above their heads would trigger those winning feelings.

* Practise anchoring every day until it comes easily to you. The more practice, the better.

How to Reinforce Self Esteem

Reinforcing Self Esteem

To enjoy a better life you must focus on your potential, not your limitations, and concentrate on what you do well. You must make the most of your natural aptitudes and abilities.

Of course everyone has weaknesses, and it takes courage to admit to them. But it can be equally harrowing to accept that we have our strengths and acknowledge that we have talents and personal qualities that others don't have.

This section is about your strengths and making better use of them. You'll discover you have many on which to build.

The world is full of unsuccessful people who have talent but lack confidence and tenacity, who feel that no matter how good they are at something, someone else is bound to be better. Don't be one of them.

* Head a page of your notebook 'My strengths'. Now write down all your good points, everything you like about yourself. For example, are you a good communicator? A good cook? A talented artist or musician? Good with numbers? Handy with tools or good at fixing things? A sympathetic listener? Don't hold back. Keep writing until you've thought of at least two dozen. Add to your list over the next few days whenever you think of a new strength.

* Write down this sentence: 'I like myself most when.' Quickly, without thinking about it too hard, write down the first thoughts that come into your head and add them to your list of strengths.

* List your strengths as your partner or best friend would see them.

* Go through your list of strengths, and for each consider:
- How can I make good/better use of this?
- How can I do or use more of this?
- How can I do/use it more often?
- Write your answers in your notebook. Think about them. You may wish to amend your goals in the light of these new insights.

* Make a list of personal qualities you wish to develop or acquire. Begin by making up affirmations that encapsulate the kind of person you wish to become. For example, 'Every day in every way I become more and more patient. ' Use your affirmations every day.

How to Build Self Esteem

Building Self Esteem

Some people think it's a sin to love yourself. They consider those who love themselves to be selfish, conceited and rather unpleasant. But they're mistaken. They confuse self-love with false pride and narcissism (being in love with yourself ) which is quite a different matter. Vanity and arrogance are usually a form of bravado engaged in by people who love themselves too little and are trying to cover it up.

If you don't love yourself you'll have no sense of self-worth, and no feeling of acceptance or belonging.

Furthermore, your capacity for loving others is directly related to how much love you have for yourself. You can't share anything you don't have. How can you truly love another if you don't feel worthy of giving and receiving love? Impossible.

The belief that you need to be different from how you are in order to be loved causes a great deal of misery. Unless you are happy within, you'll never be truly satisfied with what you do. Loving yourself unconditionally is the key to happiness. But you don't have to be perfect: the most loved person in the world makes mistakes! You don't even have to do your best. You don't have to prove anything. You're all right because you're all right, and lovable exactly as you are.

* Reflect on your attitude to loving yourself. Is it OK to love yourself? Or do you consider it sinful? Arrogant? Conceited? If so, from where does this attitude come?

* Write down this sentence: 'If only I were... then I'd be lovable.' Quickly, without thinking about it too hard, fill in the gap with whatever comes to mind. Examine what you've written. Does it really make sense?

* Regularly pamper yourself. Treat yourself to an occasional massage, aromatherapy, sauna, a long soak in the bath, reflexology, a manicure, whatever you fancy. Not only does it help recharge your batteries, but it also reminds you that you deserve the very best.

* Use these affirmations: 'I am worthy of all the good in my life.' 'I am open and accepting of myself and others.' 'I am loving, lovable and loved.' 'I feel warm and loving towards myself at all times.'

* Practice TFM - Time For Me. Make time for yourself every day, for relaxing, doing as you please, having fun. This sends a powerful message to the subconscious that you deserve it and you're worth it. Besides, if you don't make time for yourself, who else is going to make time for you?

How to Overcome Low Self Esteem

Overcoming Low Self Esteem

Your self-image began to take shape even before you left the cradle and was pretty well established by the time you reached the age of 8.

By then, on average, you had already received over 70,000 negative dictates: 'Don't do that', 'No you can't', 'Who do you think you are?' 'You'll never make anything of yourself,' and so on. Most of these were run of the mill reprimands to which adults attach little importance; but they affect a child deeply and the accumulated effect can be devastating.

The means by which a person molds the behavior of another using a combination of reward and punishment is termed conditioning. You experienced plenty of it as a child, much of it negative. Very few young people reach adulthood without having their confidence dented in some way.

Once you understand your conditioning you can unravel the knots, dispense with the ropes that tied you down and leave them behind forever.

* The means by which a person molds the behavior of another using a combination of reward and punishment is termed conditioning. You experienced plenty of it as a child, much of it negative. Very few young people reach adulthood without having their confidence dented in some way. Once you understand your conditioning you can unravel the knots, dispense with the ropes that tied you down and leave them behind forever.

* When were your parents or guardians most proud of you? When were they least proud? How has this affected you? When (if they are still living) are they most proud of you nowadays? When are they least proud? How does this affect you today?

* Where did helping you to build your confidence and self-esteem rank on your parents' or guardians' list of priorities? Did they praise you often? Criticize constructively? Were they generous with their time? Or preoccupied with other things, like enforcing the house rules or pursuing their own interests? Make notes on how this affected you.

How to Develop Assertiveness Skills

Developing Assertiveness Skills

Even if you've never considered yourself to be assertive, mastering a few basic techniques soon starts to reap untold rewards.

* Decide to become more assertive.
* Think like an assertive person, and think of yourself as one.
* Imagine yourself behaving assertively and being treated accordingly.
* Act assertively. Start by taking small steps. Keep going until the uncomfortable feelings fade.
* Use these affirmations: 'I think, speak and act assertively at all times.' 'I used to be passive, but all that is changing. I am becoming more assertive every day.'
* Mentally rehearse potentially difficult situations. 'Imagine' and 'feel' yourself handling them assertively. 'See' others responding accordingly.
* Practice assertive non-verbals. Be aware of the non-verbal signals you give out:

1. Talk unhurriedly, with a clear, steady tone.
2. Make a habit of taking slightly more time to reply.
3. Give relaxed eye contact: not too much, not too little.
4. Avoid fidgeting, scratching, and touching your hair and face.

* Make your point clearly, with conviction, and don't waffle. Then shut up. If you don't succeed straight away, say it again, and if necessary keep repeating it. Change the wording if you wish, but not the message. Stay calm and don't allow yourself to be sidetracked.

* Sign up for an assertiveness course. Make sure it offers plenty of opportunity to practise with other people. If this is not possible, buy an eduactional video or set of audio tapes on assertiveness, and apply it!

How to gain Self Confidence

Gaining Self Confidence

As the greatest and wisest teachers have always taught, improving the quality of your thoughts improves your life almost immediately:

* The Bible quotes King Solomon: 'As a man thinketh, so shall he be.'
* The Buddhist text, The Dhammapada, states: 'We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.'
* The Greek philosopher Socrates said, 'To find yourself, think for yourself.'

When you think like a confident person, you automatically feel more confident and act more confidently. Positive thinkers are the happiest and most successful. Sometimes all it takes to change your life forever is a single thought!

Humans are not robots: you can intentionally choose how to think, and if you are serious about building your confidence you must start changing your thinking patterns without delay.

* When you think like a confident person you feel more confident and act more confidently, so commit yourself to taking charge of your thoughts. Write this sentence on a small card and repeat it to yourself, with conviction, several times a day: 'I am a positive thinker - I think and talk confidently at all times.'
* Consider: Are you a negative thinker? A killjoy? Do you find it difficult to think positively? Does your conversation often take on an air of doom and gloom? This awareness is critical to your wellbeing now and in the future, so be totally honest with yourself.
* Promise yourself that from now on you will never:
- Put yourself down.
- Say you can't.
- Say that what you want is impossible.
- Tell yourself that you are incapable of learning anything new.
* Practice making sentences which start with assertive statements such as 'I can', 'I am', 'I want', '1 do', and 'I choose'.

* 'Yes!' is one of the most powerful affirmations you can make. Say it often, with enthusiasm. Display it in big letters on your Wall of Confidence. Say it whenever a new opportunity comes your way. And - try this and notice the difference it makes - say it with relish when you face a difficult problem or challenge.

Self Motivation Techniques

Effective Self Motivation Techniques

Building confidence takes time, patience and effort. You will have to take a few risks. At times you will feel anxious. How can you motivate yourself to put up with the discomfort and persevere? We humans are motivated by:

* A want or need which induces tension. Only if these are unsatisfied can there be motivational power.
* Perceptions of 'pleasure' and 'pain'. We seek pleasure and are driven by a desire to avoid pain.
* Hopes and expectations that we can get what we want, and that everything will come right in the end.

The strongest motivation comes from a passionate desire for something pleasurable, coupled with the avoidance of pain.

The best way to motivate yourself is to set yourself some worthy goals, find plenty of reasons why you want to accomplish them, and keep in mind the consequences of failure - which is what you are about to do.

* Ask yourself, 'What am I trying to achieve by believing I lack confidence?' Write down the answers. A difficult one, this. You may have to be more honest with yourself than you're used to; but don't skip over it just because it makes you feel uncomfortable - your answers may illuminate and surprise you.

* Write down this sentence: 'If I had an excellent self-image and total confidence in my abilities, I would...' Write down whatever comes to mind.

* Take each item on your list and make it a firm goal. Write it in the form: 'My goal is to...' Commit yourself unreservedly to working towards these goals.

* Make yourself very comfortable, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and allow your imagination to flow freely. Imagine you have accomplished the goals you set yourself. Visualize them coming true in every detail. How do you feel? When you open your eyes write down any thoughts that come into your head.

* Think of something you can do as a first step towards each, one action you can take to get the ball rolling - even if it's just making a short phone call or reading a relevant magazine article - and do it now. No exceptions, no excuses!

Self Confidence

How to Develop Self Confidence through Self Acceptance

Self-acceptance means acknowledging that you are as you are and being comfortable with it. It doesn't necessarily mean liking every aspect of yourself.

But bear in mind, self-acceptance does not mean giving up on yourself. If some disliked aspect of yourself is important and can be changed, do something about it. There's no point in feeling bad about something you can change, just as there's no point in feeling bad about something you can't!

* What aspects of yourself do you find most difficult to accept? Are there times or situations when you find it harder to be self-accepting than others? If you wish jot down what stops you giving yourself permission to be as you are.

* Use this affirmation: 'I accept my... and my... (the attributes you have underlined). This is me, and I'm wonderful, aren't I?'

* Do you ever feel that your best is never good enough? If you judge yourself as not good enough, no amount of achievement will ever satisfy you. Ask yourself: 'How realistic are the goals and standards I set myself?' There's a paradox here. There's nothing wrong with having high expectations of yourself: low expectations lead to under achievement. But impossible ones destroy your confidence.

* Write down this sentence: 'When I fail to live up to my expectations or fall below the standards I set myself, I tell myself...' Write down the first six thoughts that come into your head. Why are you so hard on yourself? You don't have to be perfect, you know.

* Stop comparing yourself with others. You'll always find people who are better than you at some things, and people who are worse. The only meaningful comparison is between you as you used to be, and you as you are now . No one is better than anyone else, just different. If you lapse into thinking 'I'm not as... (attractive/clever/athletic etc) as.', stop it. Tell yourself, 'I'm a wonderful, amazing being. I'm good enough, and I'm grateful for it.'

Confident Body Language

Body Language: Confident Type

When you move confidently and carry your body confidently, you not only feel more confident but others assume that you are.

You may be surprised to learn that only 7% of the information you transmit to others is in the language you use.

The remainder comes from:

* 38% How you speak - quality of voice, accent, voice projection, emphasis, expression, pace, volume, pitch etc.
* 55% Body language - posture, position, eye contact, facial expression, head and body movements, gestures, touch etc.

Whereas people often try to disguise their true feelings in their utterances, they communicate them freely through their non-verbals. When your body language tells a different story from your spoken words, guess which is believed? The answer is, your body language. It imparts eight times as much information.

* Stand in front of a mirror. Hold your head up, back straight, shoulders back, looking straight ahead. Try to make yourself look bigger, as if you're taking up more space - good posture automatically takes up more space. Now walk briskly and confidently around the room. How do you feel? A proud, upright stance makes you look more important, even if you're not especially tall. It makes you look younger and slimmer too.

* Hand and arm movements are very expressive. Learn to use your hands for emphasis, and keep hand movements smooth and flowing.


1. Folding your arms or wrapping them around yourself (like a cuddle). This indicates a closed, defensive attitude and makes you appear unapproachable.
2. Placing your hands in your pockets.
3. Tapping on surfaces such as tables and desks with your fingers or on the back of your other hand.
4. Fidgeting, scratching, wringing your hands (which shows tension).
5. Touching your face or neck. This reveals discomfort or embarrassment.
6. Become aware of all your mannerisms and gestures. If possible video yourself, watch carefully and make adjustments.

* Eyes are very expressive.

1. Lively, sparkling eyes are attractive. They say, 'Talk to me, I'm approachable.'
2. Looking away shows disinterest or deviousness.
3. Looking down conveys submission.
4. Confident people make more frequent eye contact than people who are unsure of themselves, so develop a steady gaze. When you enter a room move around comfortably, smile and make gentle eye contact with everyone; not too much, not too little.

* Your breathing is very important too. You can calm down instantly and become less tense and anxious by taking your attention to the breath, slowing and deepening it. Practice calming the breath. Slow breaths and a steady gaze, combined with an anchor such as 'Cool, calm and relaxed', can combat nervousness any time, wherever you are and whoever you're with.

* Make better use of your personal space. Try to make yourself bigger. The more room you appear to occupy, the more confident and important you appear. But moving too close to others is unsettling, so don't get too near.

Body Language: Face Expressions and Eye Contact

Facial Expression

A simple smile can make others feel more at ease where a frown can make people see that you are aggressive or unsure of something. We use facial expressions to get our points across in the right context. For example, your message would suffer if you were saying how angry you are with a huge smile.

Facial expressions can suggest or express an individual’s emotions or feelings.

In essence, facial expressions are controlled forms of body language. However, since it involves feelings or sentiments, most often than not, they are spontaneous and instinctive.

Then again, during an interview, it is best to control most facial expressions and express a pleasant one instead. Interviewers or employers like to see individuals who are eager to get the job and who have a pleasant personality up front. It will only convey the applicants’ confidence in themselves. Insecure people will most likely be fidgety; and even if they won't say so, their actions speak louder.

Eye Contact

When someone talks to you, do they look directly at you or look away? Maintaining eye contact when talking (or listening) to someone gives an impression that you/they are confident and honest. Making little eye contact can say that the other person doesn't like you, is nervous or shy, or perhaps believe that they are higher in status and think that eye contact isn't necessary.

"Making little eye contact can say that the other person doesn't like you"

Also, look out for it if you believe that someone isn't being truthful, as most people can't keep eye contact when they are bending the truth.

However, someone looking at you non-stop is stressful and in these situations you should throw your hands around a bit more or point to brochures and objects to distract them. Staring is basically seen as an aggressive act and can also be interpreted as being unbalanced.

If talking to people outdoors, avoid wearing sunglasses as this can be very uncomfortable for the other person and can give an image of trying to hide your identity (a shifty salesman, for example). In addition, try to blink as less as possible as this can make it difficult for the other person to understand you (due to being distracted). Blinking less also gives an image of confidence.

Eye Contact in an interview

If the interviewer is talking and you want to show that you are actively listening, you need to instigate direct eye contact and maintain it. Avoid appearing as if you are staring aggressively by blinking at regular intervals and moving your head every now and then, such as giving a small nod.

Interview body language experts suggest that when you are doing the talking you need to hold eye contact for periods of about 10 seconds before looking away briefly and then re-establishing eye contact. Overusing direct eye contact when you are speaking can come across as lecturing or challenging the interviewer. Typically the listener maintains direct eye contact for longer than the speaker who breaks it off at intervals.

Looking constantly downwards makes you appear insincere or submissive. It is acceptable to look down if you are making notes or referring to information in front of you. However if you are speaking, or the interviewer is asking you something, raise your head and make regular eye contact to show that you are actively involved.

With panel interviews it is best to look at and direct your answer to the person asking the question, with a glance periodically at the other interviewers.

Eye contact is essential interview body language to establish rapport with your interviewer. Not making eye contact makes the interviewer feel disconnected from you. Eye contact should be a positive aspect of interview body language, if it is not used properly however it can quickly become negative.

When should you look at whom?

During the job interview it is important to look at all the interview partners to an equal extent.
By looking directly at the other person we are giving them a sign of trust.
By looking directly at people we are also in control of the conversation.
Looking directly at somebody or looking away actually serves as the dots and commas in our spoken sentences.

When one of the committee members explains something or poses a question, keep looking at this person for as long as he or she is speaking. This shows that you're listening. While he is speaking he may also look at the other people, but every time he wants to emphasis something he will look at you again.

You can then nod to encourage him to continue talking. At the end of his question, he will keep looking at you and then tilt his head up a little to invite you to give an answer. When you answer a question, you will look first at the person who posed the question, but while you answer you should take turns looking at the other interview partners as well. You should direct yourself again to the person who posed the question when you want to emphasis something and at the end of your answer.

Body Language: The Space Around You and Gestures

The Space Around You

Those who stand always look more powerful to those people who are sitting down. This is because they are taking up more space. In this case, if you feel comfortable standing, use it to look as though you have a higher status then those around you.

When you move around, the more space you take up can make others seem threatened by your presence. This is because those around you may feel that their presence in the area is less significant. In such case, they may move around using as little space as possible.

If you are sitting, you can still give an image of power. If standing isn't appropriate, use more space by stretching your legs out or by having your arms at the side of the chair. When you are on the phone and you need to be assertive, standing up will project your urgency.


When the interviewer offers you a seat at the start of the job interview, sit upright but not too stiffly in your chair. This indicates that you are comfortable and feeling confident. Hunching down in your chair gives the impression of nervousness and low self-esteem. A sloppy posture indicates a careless attitude and a lack of energy. Sitting on the edge of your chair can come across as being nervous and tense.

Relax and lean slightly forward, about 10 degrees, towards your interviewer. This gives the message that you are both interested and involved. Leaning back makes you appear too relaxed and casual. Leaning to the side can be perceived as not feeling comfortable with the interviewer.

How you position your head also sends a message. Tilting your head very slightly to one side comes across as friendly and open. Keeping it straight comes across as self-assured and authoritative.

It is also important to pay attention to the posture of your interviewer. Sometimes you can establish rapport by adopting the same posture as the other person. This is called mirroring. If they have adopted a more formal posture do the same until you see that the interviewer has relaxed and become less formal.

Hand-to-Face Movements

In a selling process, look out for customers for e.g. that use hand-to-face movements such as holding their chin or scratching their face. This can usually show that they are thinking of making a purchase but they have a concern, for example, "can I afford it" or "what if a I pick the wrong size", etc.

This may be a cue for you to move in before they leave and inform them that they can 'buy on credit if preferred' or that they can 'exchange the product if it is not suitable', etc. It is a fact that many customers do not ask to solve their queries and therefore leave if they are unsure: this is why it is important to recognize this common form of body language.

What to do with your Hands in an interview?

If you are unsure of what to do with your hands, rest them, loosely clasped in your lap or on the table. Control your hands by being aware of what you are doing with them.

Having your hands above the neck, fiddling with your face or your hair, is unprofessional and conveys nervousness and anxiety. Keep your hands away from your face. Interview body language experts will tell you that touching the nose or lips can indicate that the candidate is lying. Holding a hand behind your head is often a sign that you are annoyed or uncertain.

Folding your arms across your chest suggests a closed and defensive attitude. Waving your hands and arms around can be perceived as uncertainty and a lack of professionalism. Common wisdom is that the less you move your arms and hands about the more confident and in control you are. Practice a comfortable way to loosely place your arms and hands while you are sitting, both at a table and in a chair on its own.

Be aware of the interview body language message your legs are giving. A lot of leg movement is both distracting and indicates nervousness. Resting one leg or ankle on top of your other knee makes you look too casual and comes across as arrogant. Crossing your legs high up conveys a defensive attitude in the one-on-one context of a job interview. Crossing them at the ankles or placing both feet flat on the floor conveys a confident and professional look during the job interview.


Gestures also have a large influence in the interview. Body language and gestures can create a great effect on the observer.

In most interviews, employers watch how the applicants react to certain situation through their facial expressions or “body and facial gestures.”

For instance, if an applicant did not like the idea stated by the interviewer, the simple rolling of the eyes may indicate a negative effect. This simple gesture may mean frustration, annoyance, or arrogance.

All of these things are important during the interview. It is best to be aware of them to avoid negative results.

The very basis of body language as used in an interview is to convey confidence. Even though applicants may not be 100% sure of themselves, it is imperative that they appear as if they are.

The way applicants positively express themselves through body language can build their entire future. As they say, actions speak louder than words.

Doing one thing may mean another as the case may be. These are things that we should look out for, as it can easily give things away about both yourself and the observer. A simple touch of the nose could mean that you/they aren't being truthful.

A lot of us move our heads when we are talking to get approval from others. If you want to look powerful, then you should try to keep your head movements to a minimum.

How much you show your underbelly (your front) is a way of showing how confident, secure or trusting you are. The less you cover up your underbelly with folding arms, crossed legs, raised hands, etc, the more appropriate the qualities may be. Folding your arms may look as if you are trying to defend yourself and will look bad to the other person.

If you talk to someone who originally has folded arms, crossed legs and perhaps turning away slightly, you may think that they are uninterested and also feeling detached from your conversation. If they start to unfold their arms, uncross their legs, etc, it may be a sign that they are accepting your issue.

"we are attracted to those people who are similar to ourselves"

Another gesture that we use is called 'mirroring'. You may not know it, but we are attracted to those people who are similar to ourselves. A case may be where you are with an employee to discuss an issue and you both take a similar sitting/standing position. The discussion goes well, but if you had taken a different position, it may not have gone as well as it did. This gesture is often taken on by sales people who sit in a similar position as their customer.

A more common gesture is perhaps the one that is most annoying. It is known as 'displacement activity' and is used to get rid of physical tension in the body. Examples of this may include nail-biting, playing with hair, chewing gum, and teeth grinding.

Grooming gestures are those things we do to reassure ourselves. This may involve you perfecting your hair or fiddling with your clothes. We normally do this when we are around people we don't know, and so we groom ourselves to make us look more presentable to lift our confidence.

Finally, our hands are used to emphasize what we say, from pointing and saying "over there", to waving someone away and saying "go away". Hands that are made into a pyramid shape (fingers and thumbs on both hands touching, with palms wide apart) mean power. If someone sitting across a desk from you talks to you with the pyramid gesture pointing to you, this will either be your boss, or your future boss!

Body Language During Interviews or Business

Body Language in Business

Is important to know that body language accounts for over 90% of an usual conversation! Body language can be used to help conduct an interview, give a presentation or make an important sale: a conversation stretches so much further than speech.

Body language is the reason why an interview face-to-face has a huge advantage for an employer over interviewing by phone or for a sale made face-to-face over selling by phone.

Usually when we communicate with or see people, we only respond to what is being said, heard or generally seen. There is so much more involved and most of us do not pick up on it: it's our body language and it can express a thousand other unsaying words.

Our body language will give others an impression of ourselves or show our emotions. You're probably using it right now to read this page (you will either be alert and interested, or baffled and un-interested).

Our body language is an important aspect of running a successful business as we cannot always say what we really feel. This means we have to act positive in negative situations (and vice-versa of course). You can also identify other people's body language and know what they really mean.

You may immediately think of this as standing tall and up right as much as possible. In fact, it is the natural alignment of your head and body without the use of tension and 'locking'.

Everyone has a different posture and it usually develops through habit over the years. This may be slumping your shoulders forward or hanging your head.

Your posture may show how you will approach a situation.

For example, if you stand with your shoulders hanging, arms folded, and leaning to one side, it will look as if you aren't ready for or interested in the task in question. Should you stand with strong shoulders, head up, arms out by the side and closed fists, you will look as if you are ready for anything no matter how much stress is involved.

Looking at a persons feet when they are sitting down will tell you who is an extrovert (out-going) and who is an introvert (withdrawn). Extrovert - toes pointing out, introvert - toes pointing in.

Body Language During Interviews or other types of face-to face communication

Non-verbal communication accounts for over 90% of the message you are sending in your job interview! Your verbal content only provides 7% of the message the interviewer is receiving from you.

As you can see your non-verbal signals, both your body language (55% of the message) and the way you speak such as voice tone (38%), are as important as the actual words you use in your job interview answers!

Some tips for a job interview:

Be prepared. The best way to show positive body language at an interview is to be “natural, comfortable and confident” . It may seem counterintuitive, but the best way to look natural is to practice. Read a book or two about interviewing and then run through the entire interview process with a friend. Come up with a few interview questions to ask in advance.

Start strong. The interview starts the moment you step into the room. Walk in tall, with a smile on your face. Make sure your hand is free, and offer it to the interviewer. Make the handshake strong and firm, pumping hands once or twice, then release. A weak handshake and bone-crushers can both leave a negative impression. Don’t be afraid to practice shaking hands before your interview, maybe with your friends.

The interviewer will usually offer you a chair. If not, go to the chair across from him or her and ask if it alright to sit. Use the entire chair. If you’re sitting on the edge, you’re going to look nervous and uncomfortable.

Be an active listener. Forget about your feet, forget about the windows. Dedicate yourself to the interviewer. Don’t stare the interviewer down, but do maintain eye contact. Examples of proper body language include leaning forward, nodding and smiling when appropriate. Not only will you look interested, but it’ll probably be easier to pay attention, and to notice the interviewer’s nonverbal cues to you.

What if you’re being interviewed by a group of people talk directly to the person that’s asking the question. Once you have fully answered the question to that individual, then look at the other interviewers. You shouldn’t ignore any of the people who are interviewing, but you should give priority to the person who’s asking the question.

Expressing yourself with your hands is - gestures show energy and passion. However, a low-key interviewer might be overwhelmed by too much hand waving, so tone it down if need be.

Be calm. Jiggling legs. Jangling key. Twirling hair. Glancing at your watch. All of these are examples of bad body language. Bottom line: fidgeting makes you look nervous and distracted, so don’t do it. Don’t even tempt yourself by having anything unnecessary in your hands (or your mouth or wrist!) Keep your feet flat on the floor (or at most, cross your ankles). This not only cuts down on restless legs, but helps you sit straighter.

Read the interviewer. You want the interviewer to be doing the same things you are – maintaining eye contact, nodding, smiling, leaning forward or sitting relaxed. If the interviewer is leaning sideways, fiddling with things, or not responding with facial cues, there’s a good chance you’re losing him. To turn the interview back around, remember the last time you had them engaged and return to that subject or ask them a question.

Finish strong. The questions were brutal. The interviewer scowled the entire time. The job wasn’t what you thought it would be. No matter. Finish the interview the way you started it – with energy and confidence. Shake hands while you thank the interviewer for the opportunity, and walk away with your shoulders back and head high. You never know what’s going to happen – maybe the interviewer is always in a bad mood, maybe some other job will open up. You’ll never regret leaving a good impression.

No matter what happens, an interview is an opportunity to learn. At the end, ask yourself what you did right and how you could improve.

Job Interviews

What is an interview?

The whole idea of a job interview is to get you face to face with your potential employer.The primary idea of a job interview is to get you to communicate with an employer.
• through the course of the interview they take you through a series of questions that they need to ask you, relevant to the job
• they will give you the opportunity to sell yourself by giving the answers to the interview questions
• you have the opportunity to ask them questions about the job as well

What will be expected of me in an interview?

1. A series of questions which will be both job-related and company-related. What the interviewer wants to see here?
• that you've done your homework,
• you've done your research,
• you've been on the web site,
• you know quite a lot about the company and where it's going,
• you know quite a lot even about the individual that's interviewing you for the job.

2. They're going to think about what your expectations of the role are. During the job interview, you can expect that they will ask you about how you would perform certain tasks within that role that they're specifying.

3. The interview provides you with an opportunity to ask questions back, but you've also got the opportunity to sell yourself within their interview process.

What are the typical stages to an interview?

1. The first stage to a job interview is the icebreaker.
• once you've walked in, signed in and gone through reception,
• you're taken up to see your interviewer, who will sit down for this first interview stage and ask you a very light question about the weather, for example, or how your trip was there.

Afterwards the whole process becomes more formalized.
In a very good interview, the interviewer will say to you, "These are the stages of the interview process, of the meeting that we're having now. I'm going to ask you questions, then for the next stage I'd like you to ask me any questions about the role, and then we'll make a decision somewhere further down."

They are trying to manage your expectations of their interview process and make you feel a little bit more comfortable by breaking it down into stages.

You need to:
• think about the icebreaker,
• what you need to say about that and
• how you say it.

2. The second stage is:
• focusing you on what they expect from the interview process

3. The third and last stage represent:
• your opportunity to come back with questions at the end of the interview process.

What should I wear to an interview?

Well, it depends on the environment you're working in.
• you may go to a professional organization that requires you to wear a suit and tie.
• or you may go to a rather more modern media or IT company for an interview where they expect you to wear smart casual clothes.
• other times, jeans and t-shirt are acceptable to wear to a job interview.

Consider the type of industry you're seeking a job in, and you have to get a good feel for what is acceptable to wear. When you're invited to go for a job interview, is ok when you ask what the dress code is.

What time should I arrive?

If you are the kind of type that get very excited about going to an interview and you want to get there early to make a good impression, than better don't!

• the earliest you should arrive on the premises is a maximum of ten minutes before your interview is to start.
• if you arrive late, that's a bad first impression.

Do I always have to wear a suit to an interview?

• you don't need always to wear a suit and tie.
• you need to consider the type of industry that you'll be working in and the dress code that that company adopts.
• phone up or e-mail and say: "What will I be expected to wear at the job interview?" You want to get it right.

How should I behave in an interview?

• the best thing you can do is avoid too much humor during the interview
• avoid also behaving with too much arrogance
• don't try to be cocky,
• don't try to be over-confident,
• don't try to be clever.
Behave respectfully and be professional throughout the job interview.

What's the best way to sell myself in an interview?

• do your research prior to the interview.
• be very well prepared.
• have specific questions.
• sell yourself by making sure you are showing evidence that you've looked at the website and spent a lot of time preparing for the job interview process.
In this way you will score a lot of points with your potential employer.

What sort of questions will I be asked in an interview?

• questions about your employment history and your education
• questions that are related to the type of role that you're applying for.
• don't be surprised if they ask you to give an example of a time in the past when you've behaved in a certain way.

Here are five things that most employers want to know about you:

1. They want to know if you are qualified for the position.
What are your greatest strengths?
Do you have experience in this field?
What do you believe you bring to this job?
Why should I hire you?

2. They want to know what motivates you.
What motivates you to put forth your greatest effort?
Where do you see yourself five years from now?
What is more important to you, the money or the job?
What did you like most about your last job?

3. They want to know about the negatives.
Why did you leave your previous job?
What did you like least about your last supervisor?
What is your greatest weakness?
What did you like least about your last job?
Why have you been unemployed so long?

4. They want to know if you are a good fit.
What kind of people do you find it hard to work with?
Tell me about a time when you worked as a member of a team.
In what kind of environment are you most comfortable?
Do you prefer to work alone or with others?

5. They want to know if you want their job with their company.
What are you looking for in a position?
Who else are you interviewing with?
Why are you interested in this position?
What do you know about the company?

Often you'll find in a job interview that one question leads to a very much deeper one underneath, so be prepared.

What are role play questions?

The idea of role-play questions in a job interview is for the prospective employer to actually look at how you might behave in a particular scenario that they are familiar with.

You may be asked to role-play a customer service situation.
For example, the interviewer may ask you to pretend to be receiving a call from a stranger where you're asked lots of challenging questions that are relevant to the role you may have to perform in.

Role-play is drama.

Role-play is all about looking at how you're likely to respond if when put into that type of scenario. Remember that a job interview is make-believe. Role-play is kind of getting underneath that make-believe and making it a bit more real and a bit more relevant to the interviewer and the job itself.

What questions should I ask in an interview?

First of all, questions should be:
• relevant to the role,
• relevant to the industry,
• relevant to the person who's going to be managing you.

You can for example ask:
• "What would my typical day look like?"
• "Can I go and have a look at where I might be working if you take me onboard?"

These are all questions that show your interest in a job. They are looking for you to have done your homework and be taking the job interview process seriously.

What questions shouldn't I ask in an interview?

Some of the worst examples of questions asked by potential employees during a job interview are things like:
• "How many paid sick days do I get per year? "
• "What time do I have to finish on Fridays?"
• "Do I have to be in at nine o'clock every morning?"

These questions display too much attitude and totally the wrong sort of questions to ask during a job interview. Ask questions that inspire confidence in your future employer!

Should I mention salary in the interview?

Many people are afraid and don't know if this kind of question should be addressed in an interview. There is nothing wrong with asking how much your salary would be in a job interview, and when you'd get paid it.

Employers don't look at it as a bad question.

Should I lie in an interview to get the job?

I will recommend you never to lie in an interview, or even extend the truth. You will be caught out. It's guaranteed. Companies will actually go through your C.V. anyway and look at the history. Employers will find out if you are trying to fraudulently obtain the job.

Should I just be myself in an interview?

My recommendation:
• try to be relaxed and
• really try to be yourself,

Employers don't want to see a super person in front of them.
They want to see the real person that they could be working with for some length of time. So, just be yourself.

What are the golden rules to surviving an interview?

• be prepared.
• know exactly where you're going for the interview.
• ask yourself if you need change for parking.
• do they have free car parking?
• will you be traveling to the job interview by train or tube?
• do you know how long it's going to take you to sign in?
• if it's a big organization in a big building, it can often take you five or ten minutes just to get through security, and thus to survive the interview you will need to allow extra time.
• you need to know who is going to be interviewing you.
• a golden rule to survive is to make sure you remember their names. Look them up on the website prior to the job interview. Know what their roles are about.
• know what your potential role is going to be all about.
• make sure you've done your homework on the company.
• make sure you have questions ready.
• make sure that there are no unexpected surprises for you, and you will be able to survive a job interview.

How long will an interview take?

• a first interview should take anywhere between thirty minutes and an hour. An interview is somebody getting to know you - and you getting to know them - and deciding whether you like the look of the role and whether they think you're suitable.
• if somebody considers you for an assessment center, then it could take anything from half a day to a day.
• if it's a panel interview or a second interview, you're probably looking at least an hour, because they're trying to find out more about you and whether you're suitable in the process.

Do I need to make notes during an interview?

Yes, it's important that you make notes during a job interview, be it the first or second, or a panel interview. If is very difficult to make notes during the interview, especially if you are doing a presentation for somebody, always ask "Is it OK for me to make notes as I go along?"
Normally, the interviewer or interviewers will say yes.

Do I need to make notes after the interview?

Yes, it can always be a good idea after the interview to make a few notes while everything is still fresh in your mind.
When we are nervous, hurried or not as prepared as we wanted to be in a job interview, we may forget to ask certain questions. If you get invited back for a second interview the notes you take after the first job interview might be questions that you want to address when you return.

Wish you good luck!

Steps in the process of finding a JOB

So, you're a recent graduate? Looking for work? You and thousands of others. What can you offer that they can't? Well, hopefully you know that or will learn as you search. Your job search is a project in itself, with various stages.

Here are some tips to get you to your goal of a great first job.

1. Skill Building
Practice your writing skills, Stay updated, Take refresher courses, Start a blog, Do some volunteer work, Learn networking skills

2. What tools do you need?
Computer, Internet access, Briefcase or portfolio, Cell phone

3. Resume
Don't lie on your resume, Be relevant, Customize your resume, Follow standard format, Make it easy to read, Be brief, Use the right terminology, Promote yourself, Have references ready, Indicate your interests, Stick to the file format, Use a cover letter, Proofread, Print quality.

4. Finding a Job and Interview Preparation
Ask friends and family, Ask in social settings, Ask on campus, Check with former classmates, Try networking, Use a job search engine, Attend career fairs, Check newspapers, Be selective, Practice being interviewed, Beef up your skills, Know your strengths, Research potential employers, Prepare a list of questions, Don't overreach, Be patient, Look elsewhere.

5. Offbeat and Appearance - General tips about preparing when you've already secured an interview.
Practice, Have your clothes ready (Reduce your stress), Dress professionally, Makeover, Use your judgement, Groom yourself, Get enough sleep

6. Pre-Interview - On the day of your interview -> prepare yourself.

Be prepared, Know why, Arrive early, Be friendly, Don't smoke, Use the restroom beforehand, Learn your interviewer's name, Turn off your cell phone

7. The Interview - a lot of what gains you points in an interview is your behavior.
They already have your resume. They want to know about you.

Interview Opener
Wait for the handshake, Keep standing till you receive a direction, Make a good first impression and maintain it.

8. Interview DOs
Maintain eye contact, Be succinct, Nod your head, Ask for clarification, Ask questions, Be flexible, Ask about your role, Ask about your team, Ask about the last person, Ask about future opportunities

9. Interview DON'Ts
Don't ask about salary benefits first, Don't fidget, Don't mumble, Don't be intimidated, Don't lie in the interview, Don't show off or overact, Don't hit on your interviewer, Don't complain about someone, Don't seem needy

10. Interview Other
Remember what it's about, Be prepared to be tested.

11. Closer and Post Interview
Know your availability, Be flexible on salary, Ask for the job, Say thank you, Be patient, Follow up on each interview, Keep an interview log, Keep learning.

Hope it was useful :)
Good luck and lot of confidence in your process of finding a good job.


References For CVs

What are references?

There are two basic types of references that can be put on a CV.

• first one: from a person who can vouch for your previous employment history, such as a previous employer or manager, or somebody who worked with you closely.
• second one: from somebody who is quite senior in the community, such as a teacher or perhaps a doctor, who can vouch for your character.

Do I need to include references?

When you're thinking about whether to put references on your CV, it's a good idea either to give the full details or simply put, "References available on request." The employer, or future employer, will be happy with either of those.

How many references do I need to include?

Ideally, two references on your CV is enough or have two references available on request.
• one of the references should be pertinent to your work history--your previous employer.
• second one should be somebody who's quite senior in the community who can actually vouch for you as a character.

Can I be sure a previous employer will give me a good reference?

You can't guarantee that your most recent employer is going to give you a good reference. So, when your future employer writes to them, by law, they cannot give you a bad reference, but what they can do is decline to give the reference itself. So, that can often send a message back that there may have been a problem with your previous employment history.

Should I let a potential employer know if I suspect my previous employer will give a bad reference?

If for any reason you feel that your previous employer may decline to give you a reference, because you fell out with him when you left, let your prospective employer know that that was the case. They would much rather know at interview that your previous employer will decline to give a reference than later. They won't think any less of you if you are actually honest with them.

Good luck!

What is a CV?

What is a CV?

• CV stands for curriculum vitae.
• a CV is a document, ideally two pages long, which gives a future employer a history of what you've done in the past.
• In a curriculum vitae you add details about your previous work experience, your education and your hobbies and interests.

How often do I need to update my CV?

• keep your CV as up-to-date as possible.
• when you change a job, make a note of it on your CV.
• when you have just finished another qualification, make sure you note it on the CV also.

I am looking for work - do I need a CV?

• it's absolutely imperative that you provide a CV to your future employer.
• why? Because they need to know exactly what you've done in the past, so that they can make a judgment about employing you.

I'm not currently looking for work - do I need a CV?

• it's a good idea to keep your CV up to date, even though you are not looking for a new job.
• make sure that it's up to date just in case your circumstances change and you decide to look for work.

Can I pay someone else to write my CV for me?

• if you find a very good company that can provide a very good CV writing service for you, than yes.
• nowadays you may find hundreds of examples on the internet also. Do not copy-paste them! Research and get the knowledge how to do it by yourself.

Other kind of questions? Do not hesitate to let comments and I will get in contact with you asap :) Good luck!